I’m a 51 year old, divorced and single male. Straight. 17 years celibate. Very little for “positive” experiences with escorts. Have not had “satisfying” time with one to date. Lost a lot of money on a few occasions. Wasted a lot of time and effort. While I have cancelled a few times (chickened out back in my thirties and fourties) I have had a few no shows and had to eat the lost deposit and room (I didn’t need). The one time I got a gal to show up, all she did was talk to me for three hours and ask what I wanted to do in the last 15 minutes left to our time so she had an idea of what to do next time (had booked two sessions). I wasn’t sure if she was trying to over run the booking but when she had to leave, I just felt taken advantage of…..again. I have a lot of trust issues with this business that I’ve earned or paid for (quite frankly….it may be a while before I try again, if ever). Just the way it is.
This could just be my fault for not being direct with my expectations while not being explicit and I have very little experience. Perhaps. I don’t know how this is supposed to go except for the advice for clients on Tryst which I did follow, just didn’t get the result I expected. Maybe I was taken advantage of, maybe not. I wish the gal had explained to me better that she had no clue what we had discussed or what I “wanted”. She must communicate with a number of people and can’t remember us all though. This can’t be “easy” for her either. I only know that she is a person and I never wanted her to feel like a victim….my ex-wife had been in the industry before I met her. I didn’t want her to feel like she was just another piece of meat for me to violate and walk away from.
I do know I was nervous as hell. I knew this could be “bad”…..legally. I have 3-4 background checks a year for work and something like this wouldn’t be good if it went “worst case” scenario. After speaking to a few gals about it that know her, it seems like there was definite communication issues. Still is as I have been blocked by her. It was never my intention to “overthink” think this to death, but it has been foremost on my mind since…..this was someone I felt “comfortable” making this decision (yes, this was a choice that I took a lot of thought, time, effort to make and was never something I saw myself doing until now….if ever again) with and definitely wanted to be someone I wanted to enjoy the time I had with…I may never get the chance again (it has been 17 years already…and counting).
I don’t know that I would ever be comfortable meeting her again though….or anyone else for that matter. I’d just like to understand why….and see if it’s changeable to better my “celibacy situation”….and apologize if need be.
I did purchase an item off her wishlist which she never rectified. She was given credit instead of the item I purchased (green lingerie). In our communication, she said she needed to pick up something “green” before we met. When she arrived, she said she was wearing black (took her word for it as I never saw them under her clothes which never came off) and didn’t have $426 to get the green set (not the one I ordered). I cancelled our second appointment as I had lost trust for her as she assured me she wasn’t trying to take advantage of me but sure felt that she had. Twice now.
I am a broken person, but I am still a lonely feeling human in this crazy apathetic world that can admit his shortcomings and defects of character when I need to who was just trying to feel “alive” with what time I have left (which may be very little) and found myself one step closer to death (had doctor appointment the next day).
It’s either that or I’m a guy that can’t even get a woman he had to pay to be intimate with him.
