I was at home and the act of colliding forces of self love and self hate (what you humans refer to as masturbation) wasn’t cutting the bacon. So I logged onto the ol' computer and decided to cruise for some action. I came across an ad from Katie, really pretty face, gorgeous body, and decent reviews, so I gave her a call and asked if she wanted to get together and chill out. I had a inner feeling of futility while making the call since I thought it would be far too late but then I thought of those immortal eloquent words of a wise woman known as Rebecca Black; Its friday, friday gotta get down on friday'. Luckily Katie picked up and I asked about her routine and what not. I told her that I would be there in a few I just had to take a shower. As I drove down the highway I communicated to her that I was at the hotel. Much to her chagrin I went to the wrong one. I told her I would be there in 5min since the right hotel was pretty ajacent. When I arrived at the hotel parking lot I immediately grabbed my phone to confirm my arrival. She didnt pick up right away so I was distraught with the prospect of getting shitfaced by myself at the hotel bar (which is actually kinda nice by the way). But alas she called right away. She told me her room number. When I got inside I was greeted by very tall beautiful brunette straight out of a Russ Myer movie. I was really surprised! She is actually more attractive in person! She was very nice and personable. Told her my name (Tom, which is my middle name since I hate my real name Ceaușescu. Yeah my parents where socialists in college and if you don’t know what I'm talking about I don’t care!). It was a really relaxed environment that she provided. Never even went over standard procedure, of L.E. After (description of expletive deleted acts is for VIP) she asked me what my name was again. I secretly rejoiced that someone was as bad with first names as I was. We exchanged dialogue for a bit afterward going over standard convo minutiae. We asked each other what we did to monetarily contribute to the global economy, where we went to college, movies and t.v (which I dont have a cable so that makes me pretty boring). WHat I gauged from our conversation is that she really likes what she does. She is actually acutely interesting with stories about places she's been and states she's travelled and the idiosyncrasies about the inhabitants of the states that she has visited. Its like she's from a cooler world than me. I liked the conversation we had. I cant say I was in love but I was happy and smitten like an Al Queda operative coming across a stash of enriched uranium. All in all I had a great time. And yes I would repeat. Love and Rockets- Tom
