Briefly put, Hayden personifies The Porn-Star-Next-Door Experience —only to the best of my knowledge, I've never lived next door to a porn star and rarely have I ever lived near anyone this nice-looking.
The bad news? I arrived but I didn't come. This wasn't the first time this has happened with an exceptionally attractive lady. Call it an unenviable sexual perversion or a case of cognitive dissonance that I'm still working to overcome. It may've been a sort of dry, limp tribute to her, but I suspect that both of us would've appreciated a firmer, more, um, fluid expression. At least I would've.
Unbelievable as it may seem, Hayden is another instance of her photos not quite doing her justice. Beguiling, beautiful and absolutely adorable, whether it was method acting or simply part of her nature, she made me feel as if I was on a genuine date with her.
Notwithstanding what did and didn't happen with her, she gets high marks from this tough critic. She possesses a rare charm, which cannot last forever. Don’t take my advice, take that of 17th century poet Robert Herrick and gather this rosebud while ye may.